Diary of a Thriving Mum

It’s been a while since I sat down to write.

Today, I found myself asking: What is the one thing single motherhood has taught me?

Without hesitation, the answer came.

Resilience.

There’s a verse in the Bible that has stayed with me for years. I couldn’t remember exactly where it was at first (it’s Judges 8:4), but it says:

“Gideon and his three hundred men came to the Jordan and crossed it, exhausted but still in pursuit.”

That phrase—tired, but still in pursuit—has become the story of my life.

As a single mum to an incredible two year old, I can honestly say I have been tired since the day I got pregnant.

If you know my story, you know pregnancy wasn’t easy. It was one of the hardest seasons of my life. Through God’s grace, I fought every single day to carry my daughter safely. It wasn’t my strength that sustained us—it was God’s. He carried us when I had nothing left to give.

Looking back now, I realize that season was preparing me for motherhood.

Because motherhood, especially single motherhood, is a constant lesson in being tired, but still in pursuit.

Most mornings, I don’t wake up full of energy.

I wake up with a mental checklist already running.

The bathroom needs cleaning.

The laundry needs folding.

The dishwasher needs emptying.

The pots need washing.

The trash needs to go out.

I need to cook.

Meal prep.

Pay bills.

Take my daughter outside.

Plan a playdate.

Answer emails.

Show up for work.

And somehow…

I’m still expected to be human.

I’m still meant to chase a career.

To dream.

To build a business.

To buy a home one day.

To get promoted.

To discover who I am outside of motherhood.

Oh… and apparently I’m still supposed to have a social life too.

Go on dates.

Meet someone.

Get my nails done.

Do my hair.

Smell nice.

Look put together.

Twenty-four hours never seem like enough.

Some days, I genuinely wonder how every single thing is supposed to fit into one life.

A few days ago, I hit my limit….. again.

I tucked my daughter into bed, walked out of her room, and before I even made it down the hallway, I sank onto the floor.

I just laid there.

Tears rolling down my face.

No dramatic reason.

No crisis.

Just exhaustion.

About an hour later, I got up, had a shower, and watched something that made me laugh.

That is resilience too.

Not pretending you’re okay.

Not avoiding the breakdown.

But allowing yourself to feel it… and then getting back up.

Today, I attended a conference where Dapo Bankole said something that has stayed with me:

“Everything you’ve been through—every difficult journey—will eventually become your greatest asset. You’ve been in the school of training. You’ve learned to see what others don’t see and feel what others don’t feel because of your journey.”

Dapo Bankole

That reminded me that none of this is wasted.

Every sleepless night.

Every lonely decision.

Every tear.

Every prayer whispered after everyone else has gone to bed.

God is using it all.

Single motherhood has stretched me in ways I never imagined.

It has made me stronger than I ever wanted to be.

More compassionate.

More resourceful.

More dependent on God.

And perhaps that’s the greatest lesson of all.

You can be tired…

and still be in pursuit.

You can feel hopeless…

and still take the next step.

You can cry…

and still keep believing.

But I’ve learned that I cannot do that by looking at my circumstances.

I have to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus.

Hebrews 12 tells us to keep looking unto Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith.

When I look at my endless to-do list, I become overwhelmed.

When I look at my limitations, I become discouraged.

But when I look at Jesus, I remember that He has already gone before me.

He already knows the ending.

He has never once left me to carry this journey alone.

So maybe that’s what someone reading this needs to hear today.

You don’t have to pretend you’re strong.

You don’t have to pretend you’re not exhausted.

You don’t have to have it all together.

You can be tired.

You can even feel like you’ve got nothing left.

But don’t stop pursuing the life God has called you to.

Keep your eyes fixed on the One who never changes.

Because He is the only unshakable, immovable foundation.

And somehow, by His grace, you’ll discover what I’ve been learning every day:

You may be tired…

but you’re still in pursuit.

xoxo always,

Ife