Diary of a Thriving Mum

This year has been… strange.

In fact, it has been so strange that I’ve been afraid to write about it.

For someone who processes life with words, that’s saying a lot.

This season has been heavy; emotionally, physically, and if I am being completely honest, spiritually too. I haven’t always had the vocabulary for what I have been feeling. Most days, I have simply found myself pouring my heart out to God, singing worship songs through tears, and practicing surrender with the consistency of a full-time job.

And let me tell you, surrender was never on my list of dream careers.

I can’t share everything right now. One day I will share what God allows me to share. But for now, I will just say this season has felt lonelier than most. There have been days I’ve looked perfectly fine on the outside while internally I was negotiating with myself just to get through the next few hours.

But one thing I promised myself is that I would never go back to merely surviving.

So I have been intentionally living the best way I know how, one day at a time. Sometimes that looks inspiring. Other times it looks like eating a decent meal, taking a nap, and congratulating myself for not crying in a grocery store parking lot.

Growth is funny like that.

So what made me finally pick up my pen tonight after nearly two months of wrestling with it?

Funny enough, it started with worship.

Lately, I have noticed that there are days when I can’t pray eloquent prayers. I can’t even find the words. But somehow I can worship. And the more I experience it, the more convinced I become that worship is far more powerful than we realize.

Seriously. Worship more.

Anyway, stay focused, Ife.

So tonight I was sitting quietly, listening for God’s direction, and I found myself thanking Him.

Not for the blessings.

Not for the breakthroughs.

Not even for the answers.

I was thanking Him for choosing me for the battles.

Now before you think I have completely lost my mind, let me clarify.

I am not naturally one of those people who wakes up and says, “Lord, give me mountains to climb.”

Absolutely not.

I am a “God-abeg-I-prefer-soft-life” kind of girl.

The type who sees God’s strongest soldiers and says, “Father, thank You for their service.”

But tonight something shifted.

I realized what a privilege it is when God decides to display His glory through a situation that looks impossible.

Think about Lazarus.

Lazarus was a common name in his day. Yet thousands of years later, mention his name and almost everyone immediately thinks, “the man who was dead and came back to life.”

His story became a billboard for the power of Jesus.

Not because his life was easy.

Not because he avoided suffering.

But because Christ stepped into what looked impossible and made His glory undeniable.

Then there’s my personal guy, Joseph.

That man did not have a normal life.

Betrayed by his brothers.

Sold into slavery.

Falsely accused.

Forgotten in prison.

Honestly, if Joseph had access to customer service, he would have filed multiple complaints.

Yet every painful chapter became part of God’s plan to save nations and preserve generations.

And suddenly I found myself thinking:

What if some of the darkest chapters of our lives are actually setting the stage for God’s loudest displays of glory?

What if the pain isn’t pointless?

What if Heaven sees purpose where we currently see confusion?

What if God trusts us with certain battles because He intends to reveal Himself through them?

Please don’t misunderstand me.

The season is still heavy.

Very heavy.

Some days I still don’t understand it.

Some days I still cry, I am a baby please.

Some days my faith feels less like soaring and more like holding on with both hands.

But underneath it all is a confidence that I cannot shake:

Jesus is writing a story.

And He has never abandoned a story halfway through.

So tonight, instead of complaining about being in the middle of the process, I am choosing to praise God for the ending I haven’t seen yet.

Join me and shout a big Hallelujah.

Not because everything is perfect.

Not because the battle is over.

But because we know who wins.

This story is just getting started, and I already know how it ends.

Victory.

Not because I am strong.

Not because I have figured it all out.

But because Christ is faithful.

So if you’re walking through a dark season right now, maybe for just a moment, try looking at it from this perspective.

Maybe you are not forgotten.

Maybe you are not being punished.

Maybe you are standing in the middle of a future testimony.

Maybe God is preparing a stage where His glory will be impossible to ignore.

I know it’s hard.

I know some days feel unbearably heavy.

But God is more than able to carry what you cannot.

And when He is finished, His glory will be very loud.

Hopefully I will write again soon.

Maybe tomorrow.

No promises though, lol we have already established that I have been avoiding this for two months.

Until then,

Talk soon.

Love always,

Ife