Diary of a Thriving Mum

About a month ago, I decided it was time to open my heart to dating again. Or as my friend and I like to joke—time to put up a very large, very visible banner that says:
“I AM AVAILABLE OOOO.”
Wind-resistant. Spirit-led. Slightly delusional optimism included.

But then… something happened.

Out of nowhere, I heard a voice in my head. Not a thought. Not a whisper. A loud whisper—the kind that doesn’t ask permission. It said:
“Who would want you, after you have a child?”

Those words were spoken to me by my ex over two years ago. And honestly, I thought I had forgotten them. But that’s the thing about words—they don’t always leave when we think they have.

Mustard Seeds

Words are seeds.
If they land on fertile ground and you don’t uproot them, they grow.
And even when you try to pull them out, sometimes little hidden roots remain—waiting. Waiting for the smallest bit of nutrients, the tiniest moment of vulnerability, to spring back up and announce themselves.

Well.
Let me be very clear.

I sent that word straight back to hell, where my ex must have picked it up from in the first place.

Because another thing I’ve learned about words is this: words can only be countered by words. So when negative thoughts rise up, I don’t wrestle them—I replace them. I answer them with the living Word of God.

And in that moment, the Holy Spirit reminded me:
“The blessing of the Lord makes rich and adds no sorrow.”

I sat with that. I brewed on it like strong tea.

And suddenly it became very clear: my daughter is a blessing. Which means she makes me rich in every way—love, purpose, laughter, patience I didn’t know I had, and a strength I never prayed for but somehow received.

She will never be the reason I miss out on joy.
She will never be the reason I don’t find the kind of love I know—damn right—that I deserve.

Today, I was reminded again of the power of words—but this time, in the most beautiful way.

So let me put you on to something.
Mothers, get a pen. This is tea 🍵.

Bedtime Words

My daughter’s bedtime routine—the one that actually works—goes like this:
Bath time (including a bonus water park experience).
Brush teeth (sometimes it looks like WWE, but we are slowly winning).
Massage, pajamas, Bible time—where she asks questions and we dramatize the stories like it’s a full Broadway production.
Then Alexa plays instrumentals.

And then—the most important part. The part I didn’t realize was the anchor until today.
My words to her.

I place her in bed after a solid two-minute hug and I say, every night:
“Goodnight my love.
I love you.
I am proud of you.
You are the best.
You can do it.
Jesus is here with you.
Goodnight my baby.”

Same words. Every night.

Tonight, though—I was tired. The kind of tired that skips steps. I put her in bed, knelt beside her, rubbed her back, and tried to leave.

And then—
“MUMMMMYYYYY.”

I froze.
We had hacked the sleep routine. What went wrong?

And then I remembered.

So I said the words.

And that was it.

She lay down. Calm. Brave. Content.
I watched her on the monitor as she fell asleep.

And in that moment, it hit me.

My words gave her comfort.
My words gave her courage to stay alone in the dark.

So I whispered a prayer:
“Lord, let my words always echo in her heart when life tries to make her forget who she is.
Let the words that reflect how You see her be the loudest ones she hears.
Let her never encounter anyone who speaks words she has to cancel later in life.
Surround her with people who speak life.
And let Your Word always be her mirror.”

Echoes that heal

And now, I’m here to speak life to you.

If you haven’t heard life-giving words in a while…
If you’re surrounded by people who only speak death and doubt…
If their voices have started to sound like your own thoughts…

I need you to know this:

You are God’s masterpiece.
You are never alone.
You can do it, especially with Jesus in your corner.
Nothing is too hard for you with God.
You are beautiful.
You are deserving of love.

And honestly—the list goes on.

So I challenge you:
Go into the Scriptures and find your word.
The one that counters every negative thing spoken to or about you.
Write it down.
Put it on a vision board.
Speak it over yourself again and again—until it sticks.

Until it becomes your loud whisper.

I am proud of you.
And I am rooting for you—always.

Love,
Ife 💛