Who am I?

Lost in the Chaos? Read This If You’re Trying to Find Yourself Again

Hello tribe,

Can I be real with you?

There was a time I knew who I was.
If you had asked me to describe myself, I would’ve fired off a confident list: passionate, driven, funny, child of God, ambitious, go-getter, etc.

But lately… it’s been a little blurry.

The last three years have taken me through all the emotions. There have been seasons where I felt like I didn’t even recognize myself. Sometimes I’d sit with a racing heart, wondering if this anxious, teary-eyed version of Ife was the “new me.” And other times? I’d feel like a straight-up powerhouse—unstoppable, focused, joyful.

This rollercoaster taught me one thing: no matter the season, I can always go back to the One who never changes. God’s word still defines me, even when I don’t feel like “me.”

The Crying-at-Work Moment (Yes, it happened 😅)

So, let me tell you about a recent moment that humbled me real quick.

There I was—at work—living in what I call a blessed season. I love my job. I love the people I work with. Honestly, I haven’t felt this productive and fulfilled in years. Yet somehow, I found myself crying at my desk. Actual. Tears.

Imagine a whole boss lady—laptop open, meetings coming up, reports due—and tears just falling. I had to shut my office door. Not because something specific happened. Not just because I was overwhelmed with tasks. I couldn’t even explain it.

That was the scary part.

“When Will I Be Ife Again?”

As I sat there, I whispered a question I didn’t even know I was carrying:
“God… what’s happening? When will I be Ife again?”

Not just Phoebe’s mum.
Not just a good employee or a strong woman.
But Ife…..Happy Ife

I started listening to a sermon to get me through work and then later at night, I opened the book of Judges and found myself reading about Gideon. His story hit differently this time. Here was a man hiding in fear, yet God called him “mighty warrior.” It reminded me: sometimes we don’t truly know who we are until God tells us.

And that makes sense. He’s the One who created us, after all.

Motherhood & Identity: A Delicate Dance

Being a mum is one of my greatest blessings. But let’s be real—it can also be one of the most identity-blurring roles, especially when you’re doing it alone.

Sometimes I feel like I exist only as “Phoebe’s mum.” And while I cherish that title, I’ve had to remind myself that I’m so much more.
Being a mother is just one of the many hats I wear. I’m still a woman with dreams, purpose, humour, style, and a deep love for Jollof rice and rom-coms (dont judge me 😌).

So, I’ve started doing things I love with Phoebe.
If I feel like watching a movie, I pick one we can both enjoy—corn chips in hand (our new fave). If I feel like taking a long drive just to clear my head, I do it—with her singing her lungs out in the back seat.

And you know what?
It’s been fun. Healing, even.
We’re both growing. And it’s beautiful to watch.

To the Woman Who Feels Lost Right Now…

If you’re reading this and feeling like you’ve forgotten who you are, please hear me when I say:
You are not alone.

Whether you’re in a season of discovery, a season of confusion, or you feel like your identity is just missing in action—I want to remind you of some truths today:

💛 You are deeply loved.
👑 You were made to reign here on earth.
🧠 You are wise—even when you feel unsure.
💪 You are stronger than you know.
🌊 Life has storms, but you won’t lose your mind in them.
🌍 The world needs you.
🖋️ You are not a mistake. There are divine assignments attached to your name.
🔐 Your identity isn’t built on culture, trauma, or people’s opinions. It’s anchored in Christ.

You’ll Find Yourself Again. I Promise.

This season may feel like a mess—but God is still in it. He’s still writing your story, still revealing your purpose, still holding your hand even when you feel like you’re unraveling.

You’re not too far gone.
You’re not broken beyond repair.
You’re evolving. Becoming. Blooming.

And one day soon, you’ll wake up and recognize yourself again—not because you went back to who you used to be, but because you’ve stepped into an even deeper, truer version of you.

I’m so excited for that version.
I’m rooting for her.
And I can’t wait to see her flourish.

xoxo,
Ife 💛