Diary of a Thriving Mum

Forgive and Forget? Yeah……

I can’t count how many times I’ve heard the phrase “forgive and forget” in my very Christian upbringing—so much so that I genuinely thought it was written in the Bible word for word. Spoiler alert: it’s not. (Trust me, I checked.)

Just five minutes before opening my laptop, I had a “Dearest gentle readers” moment (yes, I’m on my Bridgerton nonsense), and this phrase popped into my head. Do we really forget? And should we? Because if you ask me, that sounds a little reckless—especially when the offender is out here living their best, unrepentant life like they did nothing wrong.

Now, before you judge me, I promise I believe in forgiveness. I really do. But I need you to stay with me because this thought might shake some tables… or, you know, break them.

Forgiving Doesn’t Mean Amnesia

When people say “forgive and forget,” I swear some of them mean, “Pretend you have short-term memory loss and let that person waltz back into your life like they didn’t shatter your peace.” And I just can’t get behind that.

Case in point: someone from my not-so-distant past, whom I would love to stay in the past, decided to check in. No apology. No accountability. Just vibes and the audacity. And for a split second, I thought, “Maybe I should just be cool about it.” But then I remembered—I can forgive you and still move on… without handing you a VIP pass back into my life.

When Jesus said we should forgive and keep no record of wrongs, I highly doubt He meant, “Tolerate nonsense at the expense of your peace.” The Bible also says, “Do not cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them and then turn and tear you to pieces.“ (Matthew 7:6) The pigs didn’t just trample on the pearls but turned to attack, it always gets worse. Translation ? Protect your energy. Not everyone deserves access to you.

Prune & Flourish

This year, God gave me my word: flourishing. And you know what comes with flourishing? Pruning. That means removing anything—or anyone—acting like a weed in my garden. No bitterness. No drama. Just healthy boundaries.

I don’t know who this word is for, but it’s time to stop making excuses for people. Free yourself. Ask God to help you truly forgive, but also grab a pair of pruning scissors and snip, snip.

P.S.

I’m not saying cut people off for minor slip-ups. (We all need grace.) But for those who have consistently caused harm with no remorse? Babe, let them go.

Also, HAPPY NEW MONTLY MY LOVELIES

XOXO,
IFE