Diary of a Thriving Mum

Love That’s Seen, Felt & Multiplied 💕

I had a different post planned for today, but this one needed to be said. Because how we love doesn’t just affect us—it shapes how our kids will understand love in the future.

So, of course, I have a story. Grab your popcorn. 🍿

My ex and I had very different definitions of the expressions of love, and having different ways of showing love isn’t bad but together it should bring wholeness. I grew up in a home where love was loud. Not just in words, but in actions—the big and the small. My parents didn’t just say “I love you”; they showed it in all five love languages (yes, all five!) in their own different ways to created an harmonious beautiful show of love.

🎁 Gifts? My parents never missed a birthday, holiday, or even random surprise just because.
🗣 Words of affirmation? My dad woke me up every morning with “Ifedodo, wakey wakeyyy” (Yes, that was my royal morning call) but my mum was the “I love you” saying parent.
💑 Quality time? Fridays were sacred—our TGIF tradition meant everyone’s favorite meal while watching a movie together and sunday lunch outings, which were my mum’s idea but my dad got fully on board.
🤝 Acts of service? If we didn’t have a water heater, my dad had already fetched warm water for my bath. If we did, he’d turned it on before I even woke up. While my mum cooked up a storm every single day that I became popular because of food (ps: ask Chrisland and CU guys, they will tell you!)
🤗 Physical touch? My parents were THAT couple—always laughing, hugging, and sneaking off for date nights, and also give us hugs and peaks.

And then, there was the day that changed everything for me.

We were robbed while my dad was out of town. My mom and I were home, terrified. When my dad finally got through to me on the phone, he didn’t ask about the house, the stolen things, or even me (rude). He just said, “Where’s your mom?”

Next thing I knew, he was on the next flight back to Nigeria. The moment he stepped through the door, he went straight to her. Stayed by her side. Didn’t leave until she could sleep peacefully again. I WAS RIGHT THERE TOO, BY THE WAY. 20-year-old me was fuming. “Oh, so you finally see me now?!” 😂 But deep down, I saw something else—love in action.

That moment stayed with me. It showed me that love—real, healthy, committed love—wasn’t just in the grand gestures. It was in the showing up. The being there. The consistency.

And that is exactly what gave me strength to walk away from my marriage.

Not just because I wasn’t loved right, but because my daughter wasn’t either. And that? That was the dealbreaker. Because I know firsthand what it means to be shown love. Not just assumed, not just implied—shown.

Every child deserves to know that love isn’t just possible, it’s the bare minimum. Not just “Of course my parents love me”, but “They have proven it to me, time and time again.” This way they know that real, good and healthy love is not only possible but it’s what they deserve and also exhibit to others.

So, in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, let’s not just focus on romantic love. Let’s be the examples of love in every form—the kind our kids will can remember and copy. And the crazy things- Kids they don’t just copy but perfect, and multiply, whether good or bad.

Like I always tell anyone who cares to hear, God showed us love in so many ways and we are called to represent God, therefore we have the ability to also show love in the right way.

And to my fellow single parents out there—if no one told you today, let me be the first:

🌹 HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! 🌹

You are worthy of love. You are deserving of love. And you are giving love in the most beautiful, selfless way every single day.

Happy Val’s Day, #MumThatThrive Gang! I love you all so much!

XOXO,
Ife