Diary of a Thriving Mum

Broken, But Still Becoming

Brokenness—now that’s something you can’t fully explain, only experience.

We love to throw words around like, “Oh, that person is damaged” or “She’s been through a lot”. But do we ever stop to think that before something breaks, it was once whole? No one wakes up and says, You know what? Today feels like a great day to be shattered!

Life just happens. And sometimes, it happens hard!.

Today, I realized—yet again—just how broken parts of me still are. And it showed up in the pettiest way.

How My Brokenness Dragged Me Into an Olympic-Level Overthinking Spiral

So, a friend of mine had been acting… weird. Not serial killer weird, but off. And because my brain sometimes acts like a well-oiled anxiety machine, I immediately concluded that it must be a me problem.

Cue the downward spiral:
✔️ Overthink everything they’ve ever said to me
✔️ Convince myself they secretly hate me
✔️ Emotionally prepare for betrayal that hasn’t even happened yet
✔️ Plot a grand exit from the friendship to protect myself before they “inevitably” hurt me

This was me. Mid-painting session. With my daughter.

Yes, while she was giggling, swirling colors together, and enjoying our masterpiece, I was deep in my head, drafting a psychological thriller starring myself as the victim of imaginary friendship betrayal and my heart started to weep.

You would have never guessed it if you saw me—because, girl, I have mastered the art of masking my brokenness like a pro and looking so happy that you would be soooo jealous.

But trust the Holy Spirit to humble me real quick.

I was casually listening to a sermon when God, in His ever-gentle-yet-dragging way, said:

“Sis, that’s your brokenness speaking.”

And just like that, my whole defensive, overthinking, sad thought process came crashing down.

The Moment I Stopped Running from It

Now, in this very deep moment of self-reflection, I did the most practical thing—I put Phoebe down in her playpen (mothers, if you don’t have one yet, you can check this one out: https://amzn.to/40XeOoW).

Then, I sat with it.

Why did I make this thing with my friend all about me? Why was my first instinct to run?

And it hit me.

My brokenness stems from insecurities, wounds and a broken heart that still haven’t fully healed.

But here’s the thing—just realizing this already gave me some power over it.

Yes, something still feels off about my friend. Maybe there was actually something there. But the difference was, I was no longer emotionally drowning in it. I could see it clearly now—without my past trauma hijacking my response.

God Still Uses Broken People

You see, God wasn’t just showing me my brokenness so I could wallow in it. He was showing me that even in my mess, He is still working in me and through me.

I love the way the Bible describes us as clay in the Potter’s hands. Because you know what happens to clay?

It gets cracked. It gets pressed down, remolded, fired in the heat, and refined before it becomes something beautiful.

That’s me.

Life has cracked me. It has left scars on my heart, my mind, my soul. But God? He’s still molding me. And even while I’m in the process, He is still using me.

---

You Are Not “Damaged Goods”

Maybe you’re like me. Maybe you’ve been called damaged. Maybe people have said you’re broken beyond repair.

Let me give you a funny (but not so funny) one.

My ex once told me, “Who’s going to marry you again after one (child)?”

Whew. That one hit.

For a little longer than a moment, I let it scare me. I let it seep into my bones like an ugly truth.

But let me tell you what I know now—my child is not a liability.

She is a blessing.

We are a 2-for-1 package deal, and if you ever have the privilege of being part of our lives, trust me, you will be so blessed.

Dear Reader, You Are Still Becoming

So, my darlings (or should I say, dearest readers—loool giving Bridgerton), I want you to look at your brokenness differently today.

Instead of seeing a pile of shattered pieces, see a masterpiece in progress.

See God using even the broken parts of you.

Because trust me, my love, you are still becoming.

You will soon be in full BLOOM

Dont forget to Like, Subscribe and share to someone in need of this!

XOXO,

Ife