Diary of a Thriving Mum

Finding Myself Again: My Style Evolution

After the whirlwind of my marriage ending, I was left standing in front of the mirror, realizing I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me—inside or out. I had lost touch with myself, including my sense of style. Somewhere along the way, I’d stopped dressing for me and started dressing to impress someone who, quite frankly, was never impressed anyway.

I remember hearing comments like, “Your body isn’t ready for that dress,” or, “Your style is so old-fashioned.” The one that really stuck was when, for the first time in forever, I received an actual compliment. I asked why, and his response cut deep: “Because this is the first time there’s been something to compliment.” That broke me.

Those words triggered an unhealthy obsession with trying to lose weight and thinking I wasn’t “good enough” to wear the clothes I loved. I was trapped in a cycle of self-doubt, constantly questioning my worth, even when it came to something as simple as picking an outfit.

But when that chapter of my life closed, a new one began. It was time to rediscover myself—and my style. I won’t lie; it felt like starting from scratch, almost like I was a kid again playing dress-up. I walked into stores and tried on anything that caught my eye, even pieces I never would’ve considered before. Slowly but surely, I began dressing for me, not anyone else.

One of the most liberating things I did was get rid of every single clothing item I owned from that relationship. It was therapeutic, like shedding old skin. And then, I made a bold move: I cut off my bra-length dreadlocks. He used to say that I got locs because of him (which wasn’t true—I just asked for his opinion back then), and I wanted no part of that narrative anymore.

For the first time, I rocked a low cut—and let me tell you, heads turned. I even dyed it ginger, then switched to a temporary red, and honestly? I slayed every single look. It felt empowering, fun, and like me.

Am I done discovering my style? Nope! I’m sure it’ll keep evolving. But this time, I’m dressing for myself. Opinions? Sure, I’ll listen. But I’ll never let them come from a place of insecurity or lack of self-awareness again.

So, if you’re on your own journey of rediscovery—whether it’s your style, your confidence, or just you—take your time. Be spontaneous. Try things outside your comfort zone. But most importantly, make sure it’s authentic to YOU. Because babyyy, there is only one you, okayyyy?

Here’s to finding yourself and slaying every step of the way. 💃✨